Week 1 of the rest of my life

Well guess what…178  on the scales this a.m.  !!!!  This week has been very introspective for me personally and professionally.  OK this is NOT rocket science.  It is simple surrender…(simple yeah right…we are sooo human…damn that apple Eve ate)…Anyway here is my week in review…First I walked my butt off (literally, I can tell its’ smaller) I got up every a.m. and walked .  I have an ipod and I put all my faves on a playlist and I lost myself in the music.  I kicked my legs out and back….I did knee lifts, I did sit ups all with my faves singing along at the top of my lungs.  And guess what…I didn’t care who heard me. 

All this week I thought of Mandisa.  God put her on my heart…I mean think about it for all you American Idol fans out there.  Simon Cowell tried to demean her and her self esteem and she rose above it all.  She is topping the charts on the Christian Music Sector and is living a life of fulfillment.  Check her out and her hit God Speaking on my video page.  I can’t help but think she touched Simon in some way as well.

I went to the pool with the kids and had a good time…I sat and was thankful for the time instead of thinking who I needed to call and talk to next.  I did get a wee bit grouchy but worked through it. 

I drank a ton of water…(ok I put crystal light in it) but hey for a gal who drank NO water and lived on diet MT Dew this was a major step. 

God and I talked alot each day.  If I want what He wants He is going to give me what I need.  It’s that simple.  All I have to do is go through the motions of talking to people about Votre Vu and He will bring me the ones that are suppose to be there.  The ones that will grow me as He needs me to grow.  Period.   Can I just sit back and let it happen?  No…but I have to trust that my actions will fulfill what He wants for me and my family.  It’s called surrender and It truly is a beautiful thing.

Am I caught up? No.  Do I still have people to approach?  Yes.  But I am doing it one step at a time instead of frantically like before. 

Oh one other thing I did.  I send out one card each day to someone I haven’t spoke with in a while.  No motive…just simply to let them know I am thinking of them.  It feels good to reconnect and make someone smile.  I would highly recommend it.  I use send out cards www.sendoutcards.com/votrevugal for its ease, but the good old fashioned way works too.  I just knew my follow up wasn’t that great.  I mean I get the card written and then I let it sit and not get mailed.  This way I can do it in my handwriting font and have it sent right away. I love it….

Here’s to living life extraordinary

Mary J

 

Today is the first day of the rest of my life….

Sound cliche?  Well tough.  Today I got on the scale and weighed 185.5 pounds and decided I needed to do something about it ******.  I realized that somewhere along the way I had lost my focus.  God and I had a long talk this morning and let me tell you I do not like one bit what I have done to His creation.  Now don’t get me wrong, I have no intention to become a petite size 6 (I can’t, I have a big bone structure hah!) but I do need to start paying attention to some things in my life that have slipped.  So you dear ones in cyberland (don’t know if you even read this or not but if you do please post…it will take my accountability to a whole new level) have become my accountability partner.  To you I will report my progress and what God reveals over the next 40 days (hey what’s good enough for Noah is good enough for me) so here goes…slow and steady baby steps but here goes….these are my areas I need to work on…

First my weight…I don’t mind being heavier but I want to be a toned blob as opposed to a jiggly one…so each morning a brisk walk and some light weights for toning  Plus no junk food…no cake, no cookies, no chips but most importantly I will drink water (ok it will be flavored, but water)

My spirit (ok let me back up that should be number one, maybe I have discovered my whole problem) God and I are going to have some real heart to hearts over the next 40 days and I am going to be brazen and share with you what He reveals (maybe not all of it, some may be to juicy for you to handle)

Third, my focus.  My family and I are going to spend good quality time together this summer (not quantity but quality) I have been on autopilot so long that I have been missing out on the day to day joy of being a mother

Fourth, my business.  I need to streamline and prioritize and accept the fact that I cannot get it all done as fast as I want.  So God during our time together each day is going to have to step in and guide me here. 

What I need from you.  Encouragement and accountability.  I am willing to lay it all out there for the next 40 days.  Help me as a plod along and fall flat on my butt (at least at this point in my life its well padded)

So ready set GOOOOOOOO!!!  Until the a.m.

 

<M

 

 

 

 

A Peacock in the Land of Penguins….

A Peacock in the Land of Penguins
But Perry the Peacock was in for some very different challenges when he left the Land of Learning and went to work in the Land of Penguins.

He was used to hard work and fighting for his ideas and competing with many different kinds of birds. But nothing in his background had prepared him for the unique ways and special customs of the Land of Penguins.

He wanted to do well and be successful. He was flattered that these powerful and prestigious penguins had recruited him into their ranks, and he wanted to please them.

He studied the penguins’ walk, their talk, and their style. “How strange,” he thought to himself, “they all look alike. They’re like clones of each other.” He was intrigued and puzzled at the same time.

And as time went on, his troubles began…

Some of the penguins began to grumble that his distinctive peacock voice was too loud.

You see, penguins speak in very subdued, modulated tones, and the peacock’s laughter and excited exclamations startled their time-honored sense of propriety.

His feathers began to show more and more all the time, as he worked hard and accomplished many great things.

Everyone agreed that he was quite talented and productive, and they liked the impressive results of his work. But his flashy, colorful style made some of the senior penguins uneasy.

Some of the junior penguins privately speculated about how long he would last in the Land of Penguins. They saw how un-penguinlike he was, and wondered how long this would be tolerated by the elders.

_______________________________________

Oh how I can relate to Perry…you see I spent years as a CPA prior to discovering direct selling.  Now don’t get me wrong, nothing in our lives happens by accident and life can and will come full circle, but while I was a good CPA (excellent at client service and leading training sessions lol)  …it just didn’t come naturally to me….I had to always work harder than everyone else to get concepts and apply them.  Not to mention, that I was always in “trouble” for being too loud, not serious enough, accused of being a “strong contributer to the office grapevine” (not true by the way…just because I talk alot does NOT mean I can’t keep a secret), passed by for promotions because I didn’t fit the mold.  My coworkers loved me, I am very lovable, but because I didn’t fit the standard I wasn’t good enough to play.

I spent 12 years of my life trying to change who I was to get ahead.  The pressure I put on myself to perform was intense.  I became a shell of who I really was…I became quietly sophisticated and was slowly dying inside.  Make no mistake, I was finally promoted to the esteemed title of Manager with a Big CPA firm, I had the mahogany desk, the office with a conference room table and chairs but I was miserable, because I was not being true to myself and who God created me to be.  I am a PEACOCK not a Penguin.   Not there is anything wrong with penguins, they have a very instrumental part in this world (like keeping us Peacocks organized for one thing)…but God didn’t intend for me to be one. 

How many times have you done this?  Tried to fit a mold and as a result stifled your growth?  Well, don’t be discouraged.  Tomorrow, I will finish the story and show you how God works everything together for His good and ours.  There are no wasted moments here…just takes them a little longer to be put together into the fabric of our lives.  Until tomorrow!

Walk The Talk Movie

Today’s post is a wonderful video about listening to our inner voice and becoming a better person each and every day.  Enjoy!

from doyouwalkthetalk.com posted with vodpod

People Pleasers…Leadership and Business Suicide

I use to be the queen of people pleasing….worrying about how things are percieved, worrying about who might have taken something I said the wrong way, worrying about what people think…I mean I had mastered the art.  I was so conscious of external influence in my life, that I missed out on internal joy.  Every decision I made, every thought I had was based upon others opinions and reactions.  Oh sure on the outside, I was bold and confident, had the tiger by the tail,  but on the inside I was mush, cringing in a corner, dreading being questioned or challenged about a decision or a problem.  Anything or everything that happened regardless of whether I was to blame or not, I apologized for.  I’m sorry its raining, I’m sorry for making you wait even though you were 10 minutes early, I ‘m sorry that I say I’m sorry all the time….you get the picture…

So I have a question…how can you every hope to be successful at something if you are living your life based on someone else’s definition of what your success should be?  I know for me, if I was still that quivering little girl inside, I would have never pursued Votre Vu.  Do you know how many times a day I hear that I am crazy or that this will never work?  Or how many people question the fact that I can be 100% committed to a company without ever trying the bulk of the products or not being paid the first dime?  I mean really, if I listened to all the naysayers out there, I would never have enrolled much less built a launch team.  So here is the question…What changed for me?  When did the people pleaser in me go away?

Well let me first go on record to say that the people pleaser in me is alive and well, however I have learned to surpress its tendencies.  I don’t know if turning 40 had something do with it, ( I think it did), sheer exhaustion from pleasing others and being let down by those same people, learning the power of surrender or a combination of all three, but somewhere along the way a new Mary butterfly emerged from the cocoon and I like her. 

I have finally learned what it means to listen and lead with my heart, and if my heart is in the right place, I will never intentionally hurt or mislead anyone.  That my friend is called surrender.  Trusting your internal “gut” conscience, Spirit, whatever you choose to call it , to never lead you astray with bad intent.  Learning to let life play itself out instead of always trying to fix it or apologize for it.

That said I want to close with what I feel is the “curse” of direct sellers.     The way we constantly try to compare and or measure our success on what others have accomplished (how many they have sponsored, how much they have sold, how many leaders they have, how big their team is…the list goes on and on) instead of determining inside of us what our success should look like.  Let me give you a great example…with Votre Vu right now, we have some amazing women sponsoring at a high rate.  Kudos to them that they have the time etc to accomplish this…If I were so inclined to “compete” with these numbers, I would would have to be committed.  My family would be in chaos, I would never sleep due to trying to run 3 businesses and being spread too thin, I am not worth two cents.  I am cranky.  Trust me…So instead I have to let life happen.  I contact the people I know when I can, I follow up on leads as quickly as possible and try very hard not to stress that I am not building as fast as others.  Success to me is that my family is in balance, my team is growing at a steady rate, I am following up on phone calls etc timely and meeting thier needs, and that I trust that those I am suppose to sponsor will come my way.  Period.  If I want what He wants,  He will give me what I need.  End of story. 

So the next time you are tempted to people please, take a deep breath, step inside yourself, look at your intention and needs and then decide if what others are saying is right for you.  Have a great day!

Is This Why You’re Stuck?

I had the pleasure of reading the following article via my inbox the other day written by Ann Vertel http://www.UnitGems.com  

“Is This Why You’re Stuck?”

If you are even remotely concerned with what others think of you and your business, it will hold you back.

If you grew up seeking approval - from parents, siblings, teachers, coaches, friends - you worked awfully hard to please those around you. As a child, that’s a pretty good strategy because it helps you learn the expected behavior and thrive in a world where the rules are not your own.

But you’re an adult now and that strategy is no longer applicable, nor is it healthy, wise, or recommended. Unfortunately, many of us drag it with us into adulthood. And why not? It worked so far, why stop?

Because the strategy for success in adulthood is entirely different than the strategy for success in childhood.

The sentence above now bears repeating - as a child you adopted the strategy of pleasing others because it helped you learn the expected behavior and thrive in a world where the rules are not your own.

As an adult, there is no expected behavior other than that which is legal, ethical, and moral. You are not expected nor required to please others, make others happy, or place another’s desires above your own. And no, this doesn’t mean you are selfish, it means you recognize that the role of a child and the role of an adult are entirely different.

As an adult, you now make the rules for your world and the way you live. You have choices for everything you do. There are consequences, good and bad, for every choice but you still get to decide.

So my question to you is this. Are you working more for approval or for results? Approval might feel good but it doesn’t pay the bills.

This week track the times you seek approval from others and the times you consciously choose results over what others may think. Make two columns on a sheet of paper and fill in each instance. Your goal is to increase the number of results entries every day.

I want to explore more about this in the a.m., about how I tamed the people pleaser beast within and how freeing it has been…Until tomorrow

Blessing and Curse…sometimes you just gotta roll.

Being involved in the launch of a new direct sales company is both a blessing and a curse.  Take mine for example, Votre Vu.  Do I believe it is the best offering to industry that has come along in some time?  You bet.  Do I believe it will change lives financially?  You betcha.  But conveying this belief, especially during a prelaunch when there are not tangible products is tough.  You see the majority of the people out there who join a direct selling company join because they fall in love with the products, not the concept of what will be.  The average direct seller is not looking to build a multmillion dollar organization…industry standards support this…usually around 1% emerge into top leadership positions with a company.  Does this mean that the concept doesn’t work?  Not by a long shot.  It simply means that you need and embrace those product seekers and be patient when they don’t jump on board right away.  What they really want and need most simply isn’t available…yet.

You see, so often we forget direct selling 101.  This is a relationship and needs based industry.  My job as a sponsor in the industry is to figure out what someone needs and show how my company can meet that need in the simplest way possible.  People join for a variety of reasons:  some to get the product at a discount, some to have a social outlet, others to pay a monthly bill, or still others like me to fund three college funds, pay off debt etc.  The bottom line I think is this…the greater the need, the greater the likelihood of an emerging leader.  Does this mean that only needy people emerge as leaders?  Certainly not.  Driven people emerge as leaders.  Some may be set financially, but have a burning need to have something to call thier own, or to be the best there is. 

Here’s the bottom line.  No matter how young or old the company is, the principle is still the same.  Its based on needs not of the head but of the heart.  When launching a start up, you still have to speak the need language and just except the fact that not everyone is going to jump in right away.  Some people need product to feel secure…and that is ok.  Start up companies…blessings and curses…blessing to be in at the beginning, curse to not have all the products ready, literature complete, the list goes on and on.   But at the end of the day you are one day closer to launch and one day closer to meeting others needs.  Roll with it and embrace the journey.

I discovered the best movie the other day.  It really sums up the work at home lifestyle women crave.  It appeals to all of those “needs” we have just waiting to be fulfilled.  Enjoy!

The Dash…

Awesome Poem that says it all about life…Enjoy!

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Click here to view The Dash Movie

 

 

 

Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.

Hmmmm…as I start my journey into blogland with each of you this seemed like to the perfect quote to use for my first “official” post.  My goal over the upcoming weeks is to share with you my joys, my challenges, life lessons, direct selling nuggets, and other goodies.  I mean let’s be real here… life is meant to be savored and shared and there is no point in going through the school of hard knocks and not trying to save someone else the trip.  Right?

So courage and fear…how can we apply this to our lives.  Well I know for me, fear takes on various forms…fear of the unknown, fear of success, fear of failure.  But what if we were to really strip all the emotion out of it.  Fear is just that… an emotion and a reaction.   Fear is a form of pride.  It is allowing a circumstance to be master over you and not relying on God above to work it out or giving us the strength and patience to endure.  So what if we spin around the fear into a positive reaction instead.  What if we starting using our fear as an indicator that we are on the verge of something really really big.  In the words of author Lisa Jiminez, “Fear is your green light to GO”.  Fear to me means that something amazing is about to happen if I can just get through it…learn the lessons which need to be learned and embrace it. 

So many times when sponsoring for my current company, I run into so many people who allow fear to be their stumbling block to their dreams.  They hold back because they don’t understand the compensation plan or haven’t tried the product, yada yada yada.  They allow their fear of the unknown or their fear of failure paralyze them.  They let their fear of what others think influence their decisions.  They are victims of fear and it is sucking the life out of them. 

So how do we get past the fear?  I think the first step is to accept it for what it is.  Really get to know it and embrace it in its simplest form.  Know what is triggering it.    Figure out a way to work around or through it.  Understand it but don’t let it have power over you.  Stand up straight, pull your sleeves up and face it head on.  Know and understand that on the otherside of that fear is faith.  Faith spurs courage.  So remember, Fear is your green light to go…Until tomorrow!  VotreVuGal…